Going through a breakup in your relationship is no short of an ordeal, especially when you are married, only to get divorced afterwards. Some divorces can be amicable, but for a lot of people it is a very bumpy road to drive through. Once you eventually see the end of it, you find yourself alone and probably not too keen on repeating the experience ever again. But the old saying: “you need to get back on the horse” does ring a few truths; because if you stay upset or even traumatised by your divorce, you’re not too likely to find yourself a new partner anytime soon. So how do you not let your divorce get the better of you? Let’s take a look… Mistakes were made, and it takes two to tango. What we mean by that is that you need to look back at the situation and analyse what went wrong. Look at what you should blame your partner for, and look at your share of the responsibility. You cannot really change the faults of your ex-partner, but you can make sure that you don’t pick up someone who displays similar character traits as your ex. It’s all about changing the things that you can, and blaming someone else isn’t as constructive as putting the blame on yourself. That way it gives you a sense of control, making divorce not to be that unavoidable phenomenon. Work on yourself and the mistakes you’ve made, and they might not happen again next time. Once you gain back some form of psychological control, you can look at possibly going back to the world of dating. You might not want to go for a full blown relationship just yet, maybe instead try to date people casually for a bit of fun and companionship. This is a great way to get back on the horse without committing to something too serious. You meet people, you spend with them but you don’t get the pressure of being in a serious relationship. Taking a break from the whole emotional aspect and focusing on companionship can get you back to a point where you feel confident about yourself, and you might eventually be ready to get back into a serious relationship sooner than you might think. It might be a good idea to look for mature dating sites which specialize in dating for people in their later years. Older people have more life experience, so maybe you’ll find more people closer to your own heart than on traditional dating sites. If you find yourself a new companion and you want to ask them out, you might want to talk to them about your divorce. The reason is that when you’re carrying some baggage, you want to make sure you don’t take it out on other people. Telling that person that you’ve had relationship issues leading to a divorce might not be the best chat up line, but at least you’re saying things as they are from the get go. This is a much better way to start a relationship, it’s honest and to the point. Good communication is the best thing you can do when you are getting into any form of relationship, and it will actually prevent some issues further down the line. In short, it can avoid a repeat of what previously happened. Going through a divorce makes you face reality, and what doesn’t kill you can make you stronger. You’ve lived through it already so you have the advantage of hindsight. Use your past experience to better your next relationships, and you will most likely not make those mistakes again. Experience is always a good thing, even if that experience isn’t always positive. You know more about it than people who haven’t lived through it, and knowledge is power. Once you’ve recovered from your divorce, you should be ready to get back into the dating game; but not just blindly. You will know what you are doing and you should see the signs if things start to go wrong. Just make the most of what you’ve learned and make your life better for it.